The forecast shows rain for the next three days. Naturally we plan our move for this weekend. We have (Spencer did it all) moved little junk boxes and closet totes and pantry supplies to the new place.
I still can’t picture myself in our new place. I thought that we would only have one place in Iowa and now we are transitioning to a larger space that we can’t fill.
The second bedroom is a reminder of the empty place that lurks inside of me. The plans for the second bedroom didn’t work out and now it is a physical reminder of the emotional wound that hasn’t healed.
I’m not sure that I will do anything with the room. It will stay closed until I am ready to figure out what to do with it. I’m just going to play nice with myself and try to take one step at a time.
I know we are close to having a family. I just can’t see it right now. I’m not sure what that will look like in our future.
Everything feels out of my control and maybe that is a good thing. I’m just not sure why or for what reason I need to let go right now and just accept what we’ve got.
An empty 2nd bedroom and lots of expected rain.
