I’m calling the doctor.
Okay, not really the doctor but I plan on setting up for myself some therapy sessions. I’ve never had good experience with therapy but that is the resolve I have come to after last night.
Last night was bursting with tears and epically filled with a large cloud of ambivalence and then bursts of more tears. I’m not sure that description makes sense, but magically in relativity to infertility, it sort of makes sense. I can only describe this experience as a hellish-never-ending-roller-coaster-ride-based-on-a-lonely-island-of-misfit-toys.
Because of this state of mind I cannot support the people I need to be supporting. I’ve turned into a zombie, taking down all the people that are trying to help me, very rapidly. I can see myself figuratively sucking their souls out and leaving a devastation of human wreckage in the wake of my words.
I need to get my body, spirit, mentality, and my thoughts back and take a mental trip to the beach where my heart can rest. The beach is where I draw my energy from. This is my peace and love.
