It’s Wednesday today. Happy Hump Day. In one week from today I will begin injections. That’s right. This is happening again. I’m shocked and can't believe this is right around the corner.
My body is still super fragile. I have been leaving work at the end of each day so exhausted that I rest my head on my hand the whole drive home and then only make it to the couch. Sad true story.
It is hard for me to breath lately. I have been dealing with right back and lung pain for two days straight. To top it off, I have been experiencing severe night sweats. I wake in a pool of it each morning. The sheets are barely dry by the time bedtime comes back around each night.
I still have bandages over my stitches. My stomach is still swollen and I can barely walk a 1,000 steps in a day. This is a drastic change from my average 12,000 in a day.
I’m in therapy. I started awhile prior to doing IVF. I’m pretty sure I surprise my therapist each week with news of what I am dealing with. The other day I came back from a session and complained to Spencer that all my therapist wants me to do is to talk about my problems. The nerve.
I actually am very glad that I have therapy. I notice a lot of consistent negativity in my life and we have a goal to work on that and become more positive. Who knew that achieving a dream would take so much work and pain. I never knew that dreams were made of blood and sweat and constant setbacks.
I recently came across a quote: “The flower doesn’t dream of the bee. It blossoms and the bee comes.” How true that is. Like a flower my job is to blossom… it will take everything that I have to get through this fear and disappointment and loss.
This is my reality. This is my true life. I’m going to get there, even though it is going to be hard to get there. Spencer and I are going to get through this unknown, stressful process together. This has to be for something.
